Hanasia, Queen of the Saiyans
Written by Salagir
Adapted by Caihlem, TheOverlyMadHatter, hiace50 and Adamantine
This story takes place on the Saiyans planet, 1000 years ago, way before they are the population killer who put fear in the whole galaxy, in the era of King Vegeta...
If you ever wondered how these so powerful people lived as a community, if you want to know what was the fate of Millennium Warriors before Broly, if the adventures of a frantic and emotional fighter in a world of bullies tempt you, enter the world of Hanasia's saga.
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A big ape walks, he doesn't even know that he is one of the ancestors of the powerful Saiyan. The animal is looking for his next meal.
Unlike his prehistorical equivalent, the Homo Sapiens, he doesn't have a stick with a rock, not even a stone. But we can see that he has reached a certain level of evolution as he is wearing some very badly sown together pelts.
Suddenly, he jumps in the air, an impressive leap, and falls right beside a huge herbivore: 25 meter long, 50 tons on Earth, 600 tons on this planet. The animal gives a start and gets ready to flee, but it's too late. The predator already has pounced on its back. With a powerfull blow, he crushes his victim's spine, and the Homo Gorillus Sapien tears off a limb right away to eat it raw.
In spite of the beast's size, he only eats the most tender parts, and then abandons what's left for the scavengers. He wants something more sophisticated.
His steps leads him in a forest and he smells those little animals that he loves to munch. He slowly goes between the trees, walks on a branch without noticing it, and triggers a trap. With a clever rotation system, an entire trunk, at the end of which is tied a huge rock, is rushing at him. Thanks to the speed of rotation, the club has reached an incredible speed, and this gigantic club fell down on his head.
The Tsufuls had a very hard time putting this trap into place. Such a big rock doesn't move on its own! Especially on a planet where gravity is 11,65 G. Unfortunately for them, this Saiyan is strong and fast and he has time to place his arms in front of his face before the impact. He's thrown several dozen of meters away and his body goes through a tree. His arms are bleeding, but he's alive. He foolishly smiles as he smells blood and walks again, without paying attention to the several metal turtle shells that are tied to the trap and that are ringing as they bang on one another in a deafening noise.
The metal turtles has evolved until they had smooth and shiny shells, much tougher than reinforced concrete. Even Saiyans can't eat them: they can't get their fingers in the small gaps from which the beast's head and paws come out, and they can't tear the shell open. And when they hit it, they only deform it without breaking it.
The Tsufuls, in some millions of years, will build their first weapons with iron and they'll create the crowbar and this will allow them to finally open the turtles which, until then, had had no predators.
For now, they just burn turtles and then use their shells as musical instrument..
In a glade, Tsufuls can hear in the distance the alarm bell. They panic. They are far from the camp. They start running. But it's too late: the predator has found them, and he's running now. He is twice as big as they are. The last members of the group turn back, pointing their ridiculous weapons towards the monsters. Sticks with sharp flint, club made of turtle shell and thorns of giant thistles.
The flintspear is thrown towards the ape that sees it coming and has quite a lot of time to send it away with the back of his hand. Once he has reached them, he laughs at the blow that the Tsuful has thrown at him as hard as he could. The last one stabs his thorn into the Saiyan's belly. The ape's skin is scratched and he groans. The Tsuful moans and regrets that the tip of his weapon hasn't been poinsonned. It wouldn't have saved him, but, with it, the Saiyan certainly wouldn't have been able to go after the others.
Luckily for the group, the Saiyan is not that hungry and he is happy with eating these three courageous rearguards.
After this, he goes back home, in the plain. In this place, two Saiyans are lazily laying around, digesting their meal, and a child is having fun breaking rocks, making a noise that doesn't seem to be annoying the sleeping apes. One last Saiyan is sitting, looking in the distance. We could imagine that is he thinking about the meaning of life, wondering if there is a god, or at least wondering if it was going to rain. But even if he can do it, the Saiyan is wondering why is grass moving back and forth whereas the wind always blows in the same direction. To which, he inwardly answers “Groump”. This answer seems to be satisfactory to the extent that it could be translated with 'Bah'.
Our pre-Saiyan passes near the youngster and without warning kicks him in the ribs. The kid falls four meter away, screaming. Contrary to the sleeping ones, our heroe finds his racket to be unbearable. He comes near the “thinker” and drops the pelts that the Tsuful he has eaten wore on his head.
We understand then that, at this time, the Saiyan don't make their own clothes, they make them from Tsufuls' clothing.
Proud of his gift, the Saiyan says: “Groump.” Which is interpreted by the other by: “we copulate?”
To which the latter answers positively in the sense he hasn't punched the other in the face.
And so lived at the prehistoric time Saiyans, Tsufuls, metal turtles, brachiosaurus and many others, more or less happily.